


and July (the reason is enough)

by Xiumurder



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Panic Attacks, Slight Minsung, Social Anxiety, chan and woojin are mentioned, changlix, i love Heize and Dean, inspired by and July, seungjin if u squint, uwu, wheres jeongin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-05-09 16:04:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14719250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xiumurder/pseuds/Xiumurder
Summary: The fleeting night is comforting but if it’s not today, he thinks that he won’t ever tell him. So he presses Felix’s number.+++“I needed to be sure. If I said it in May, I might seem impatient. If it was June, it was obvious you were busy. So I came this far”





	and July (the reason is enough)

**Author's Note:**

> heyyyy! ive been trying to post this for 3 days finally here it is. Enjoy!!
> 
> English isn't my first language, sorry for any mistakes!

**_may_ **

"It's been one year now, Changbin" Jisung tells him for the third time that day.

He fucking knows. Jisung and Chan and Woojin have been reminding him enough about the fact that he has had the biggest crush on Lee Felix for over a year now. It’s annoying, especially to someone like Changbin, who rarely lets his feelings out.

“Can you shut up?” he says, trying to focus his attention on his laptop –it isn’t easy trying to focus when Felix is behind the counter of the cute café he works at and that Changbin has been frequenting since he found out that the younger works there -.

“Here´s your drinks!” Felix announces serving them their orders “Enjoy it!”

Jisung looks at Changbin once the younger boy is out of his sight. The older´s eyes are still on Felix´s back. Jisung laughs at him and Changbin tells him to “shut the hell up!”, once more.

He takes a sip from his Americano (“as bitter as I am” he says. Jisung cant’s stop laughing) when Felix appears again.

“Hey” he says softly.

Suddenly, his Americano isn’t as bitter as it's supposed to be, Felix’s voice and whole appearance making it sweeter than it should be.

“I forgot to bring you this” the younger boy announces, putting a bottle of cold water and two glasses on the table “I’m sorry”.

“No need to apologize” Jisung answers quickly, seeing how Changbin is frozen.

He leaves the table and Changbin takes a big sip of his coffee and then a big shot of water. The sweet taste is still in his mouth. This crush will be the death of him.

+++

For the past two hours the only thing that Changbin has been focusing in, has been homework (bullshit, he only wrote his name on the screen). It’s horrible, he can only think of how cute Felix is, how deep yet sweet his voice is, how he should be doing homework, how annoying Jisung is and how puffy Felix’s hair is.

So no, he hasn’t done any homework (which isn’t that good, he has to hand in 5000 words about the biblical period of music and, again, he has only written his name. He definitely won’t sleep tonight).

Someone walks in, wearing a t-shirt with the café’s logo on it, so Changbin figures the guy works there. 

What he clearly wasn’t expecting was Han Jisung smiling like crazy while yelling at the guy a very loud – and disturbing – “Minho-hyuuuung” (yes, stretching the “u” and everything).

The other boy walks up to them and smiles hugely at Jisung, completely ignoring Changbin. They start chatting so he tries (keyword: tries) focusing on his assignment again.

“Hyung” Jisung calls him “This is Lee Minho, a very good friend of mine"

“Hey, there” Minho happily says “Jisung here was telling me how you have a thing for Felix”

Changbin rolls his eyes annoyed, he can’t believe that Jisung just told the other guy that. The little brat can’t keep a fucking secret – though it isn’t that much of a secret, because he’s constantly looking at Felix and drooling -.

“So Minho-hyung told me that he’s inviting some friends over tomorrow to his place, Felix’s is going to be there and we’re both more than welcome to go”

“Sorry, but I don’t think –“ he starts saying before Jisung cuts him.

“Don’t worry, we’ll be there” the younger boy says instead.

Lee Minho says goodbye and goes behind the counter, smiling at Felix widely.

“It’s not a good idea” he voices his thoughts out loud.

“Good idea or not, we’re going” Jisung tells him.

“But, why?” he whines.

“Don’t go for Felix, go for me” the younger pleads “I really like Minho-hyung and I think this is my chance to talk to him about my feelings"

Changbin says nothing, he doesn’t need to, Jisung fills that space for him. That’s why they’re friends. Changbin is quiet, with a low profile, shy and anxious when talking to people and Jisung is the opposite. He’s outgoing, loud and friendly.

“Please, Changbinnie-hyung” he says, pouting.

“Fine” he answers, looking at his laptop again. This isn’t going to end up well.

+++

And he’s fucking right. It’s a total disaster. Apparently, “inviting some friends over” to Lee Minho meant throwing a fucking wild party. 

When they walk in the house at eleven p.m, the place is already a mess. Loud music, lots and lots of alcohol, drunk people dancing like crazy in the middle of what it looks like the living room. 

As soon as they step into the house, a very drunk Minho says hi to them and pulls Jisung away from Changbin, leaving him standing completely alone in a house full of strangers.

He decides to go for a drink – he’s not usually into alcohol but if Lee Felix his going to be there dancing and flirting with other people than he might need a little help to stand that. 

He’s actually getting his second glass of vodka when he sees the younger boy. He’s simply talking with two other boys, and Changbin can’t help but laugh. The poor boy is third wheeling. 

And suddenly, Felix turns around and looks directly at him. Yeah, Changbin needs that drink right now.

If he thought that Felix was handsome while wearing an apron and a big white t-shirt with the logo of café in it, then now, he was totally losing his mind.

The younger boy is wearing a pair of ripped skinny jeans, a blue t-shirt and a black jacket on top of that.  _He looks so fucking hot._

Changbin, already a little bit tipsy, is pouring himself his third glass of vodka when Felix and the other two boys walk to him.

“Hey, café guy” Changbin says while mentally slapping himself in the face.

“Hey, client from the café” the other answers while laughing.

 _Oh, thank god,_ he thinks, _he’s so drunk_.

“See, Hyunjin?” Felix says looking at one of the other boys “I told you he was real”

“I am real” he dumbly says, after gulping another glass.

“What are you doing here anyway?” 

“Jisung, my friend, the one that looks like a squirrel, he often goes to the café with me, dragged me here” he explains “Minho – I think – invited us and I’m pretty sure that Jisung and he are making out somewhere around the house”

“Oh, so your friend is the so acclaimed Jisung” “Hyunjin” says.

“Minho hyung talks a lot about him, but we didn’t think he was actually real” the other boy says.

“Just as we thought that you weren’t real” Hyunjin tells him.

Changbin hums in acknowledge and Felix drinks something from the glass he’s holding.

“We are going to go” the unknown boy says.

He and Hyunjin disappear into the crowd of drunk teenagers leaving Changbin alone with Felix, the boy he has a massive crush on.

+++

Four hours. He and Felix – the boy he has a massive crush on - have been talking for four hours. Both of them are pretty wasted but they made it outside, to catch some air and have been talking since they went out. 

Felix has told Changbin everything about himself. Every little detail about his life. He has told him things like the fact that he´s Australian, that he moved to Seoul a couple of years ago, to things like his birthday, his favorite color, his favorite food, and Felix has told him something very important. He’s not into girls. It gives Changbin a little bit of hope.

Jisung calls him when they’re talking about their dreams and hopes. The younger boy says that they should’ve been back at his house an hour ago and that they should leave now, because, oh boy, if their parents find out that they’re wasted, they’re dead.

Changbin and Felix exchange numbers and the blonde boy promised him that they would hang out some time. Changbin holds onto that.

+++

Once Jisung and Changbin are lying in their beds, he decides to send a text to Felix, who had told him to text him when he had arrived at his house. 

He writes a simple “its Bin – Felix had called him that the whole night and, to his surprise, he actually kind of liked it – i’m home”

The other boy’s reply comes two seconds later.

**help me pls, min and jin r doing dirty stuff**

**ugh, why didnt i stayed at minho’s**

_probs cause that place’s a mess_

**touché**

_im gonna sleep now_

**me 2**

_sweet dreams lix_

**night, hyung**

**_june_ **

June isn’t as bad as May. It's worse. He and Felix are actually friends, they hang out a lot and Changbin continues to go to the café only that this time he’s actually talking to the cute guy behind the counter.

Jisung comes sometimes but only to see his boyfriend, Minho – Changbin was totally right, they did make out in the party -.

It’s one of those times that they’re hanging out in Changbin’s place when he slips.

Changbin has been feeling like he would explode, Everything is so bottled up that, when Felix enters his room and smiles at him, Changbin breaks down.

He starts crying and the next thing he knows, he’s having a panic attack. In front of his crush. Great.

His breath is uneven and he can’t control himself. Felix doesn’t know exactly what to do but he walks up to him and hugs Changbin really tight. The older boy closes his eyes and tries to get his breath in syntony with Felix’s. 

Once he’s calmed down, Felix asks him what’s wrong.

He starts explaining everything. How his parents are separating, how the school’s assignments are drowning him, the fact that he doesn’t have time to do anything he likes. He also reveals to him that he has had panic attacks for the last two years and how he suffers from social anxiety.

Felix doesn’t say more than necessary. He only tells him that he will always be there if Changbin needs him and the older boys feels so grateful for having him in his life.

“Binnie-hyung” he says at night when they’re lying in Changbin’s bed “I’ll do anything for you. You can always come to me”

**_july_ **

It’s a month since Changbin has seen Felix. Thirty days since the younger stayed the night at Changbin’s because “he was alone and could have another panic attack”. 

They’re going to have dinner together. Changbin likes to think that this is an actual date. 

The night is hotter than the July sun but it’ll probably cold down later. Changbin tells himself that today will be different. He has decided that he will tell Felix about his feelings tonight. He just hopes that they’ll be ok.

He’s dressed up a little bit, he put on some perfume and wore his lucky shoes. He’s on his way to Felix’s place when he gets a call from the younger boy.

“Hey, Binnie-hyung” he says softly “I have bad news”

“Is everything okay?” he asks him. 

“I’m sorry, but don’t think we can go out today” the younger says, disappointment notorious in his deep voice “I have to study for a history test that I just found out I have tomorrow morning”

“Don’t worry” he says sadly “We’ll go out some other time”

He hangs up after telling Felix three times that it’s okay. Which actually is a lie. He’s not okay. He stands in the middle of the sidewalk, watching people come and go. He’s alone. 

The fleeting night is comforting but if it’s not today, he thinks that he won’t ever tell him. So he presses Felix’s number. 

“Binnie-hyung” the blonde boy says when he picks up.

“Hey, I actually have something important to tell you” Changbin tells him “It's going to be quick so you can keep studying”

“Are you okay, hyung?” Felix asks.

“I’m fine, Lix” he assures him “There´s something that I’ve been dying to tell you but I think that if I don’t tell you now, I will never do it”

“Say it then”

“If I hesitate more, I might see someone else with you, so I’m going to be careful” he starts “I like you, Lix. I’ve liked you for more than a year now. I always saw you at school and at the café, and thought “who’s this cool guy? He’s so handsome”. And Jisung used to tease me and tell me that you were totally out of my league”

“Until Minho-hyung’s party. You came up to me and talked like we were best friends and then you actually became my best friend. But there has always been a part of me that liked you like more than a friend and I just can’t deny it anymore”

“Why didn’t you said something before, Bin?” the younger boys asks.

“I needed to be sure. If I said it in May, I might seem impatient. If it was June, it was obvious you were busy. So I came this far”

“I like you too” Felix confesses “At the begging, you were the cute guy who came to the café a lot and then I saw you at school. You can ask Jin and Minnie, I never stopped talking about you. And I didn’t know your name!”

Changbin laughs, not because it's funny but because he’s so happy right now. 

“Can you come over, hyung?” Felix asks.

“I thought you had to study history” he says, confused.

“Yeah, but I’m going to fail anyway” the younger tells him “I won’t stop thinking about you now”

“I’ll be over in ten”

  
_You’re fine. I’m fine. And July. The reason is enough._

 


End file.
